Beyond Forgiveness - a testimony to the God of great mercy and grace!
Once you were free, as only His child could be, but you shut your eyes to the true light because you didn't want to see. You grew older and bolder and you turned your coldest shoulder to the God you’ve really always known was there. Sooner or later, you're going to change your ways, He loves you - He won’t leave you alone. Don't you realize that you’re His child and in Heaven He has made you a home? He wants to set you free; won't you let Him? Let Him set you free! Free as only His child could be, open your eyes to the true light, won't you come and walk with Me?
I penned those words over 27 years ago: an every day drug and alcohol abuser, backslidden from God for 7 years. Writing poetry and songs were pretty routine for me. I often would sit down with pen and paper without any forethought and write a song that rhymed from beginning to end and it always told a story. That day was strangely different. It was not a song of rock and roll as I frequently wrote for our band. It was the Holy Spirit reaching out to me.
I really had no reason for living the party life. Christ came into my life in a very dramatic way at the age of 6. From that moment, I never remember any doubt of the reality and power of God and His Son from that day until this. No, what I grew to doubt was that there was any possible way to receive forgiveness for the sinful life that I blatantly chose to live.
I grew up hearing about Jesus from my earliest recollection. I not only heard His name, I experienced His presence. My Mom, Dad and Sister were devout God loving, God-fearing people: Christianity was not just talked; it was walked. There was nothing in my upbringing that turned me away from Christ. I don’t ever even remember being preached to. Their lives were the message.
To this day, I don’t understand why I slipped away from the Lord. Perhaps it was my wrong response to the constant moving from my Dad’s occupation. By the time I reached the eighth grade I had been in 7 different schools. I loved the moving, but I hated being the new kid year after year. I always felt that I had something to prove. Thus, I became a compulsive liar. Here’s an example: A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to smoke a joint. My immediate response was “ sure, I smoke pot all the time!” That night, at the age of 13 I had my first introduction to marijuana.
I will try to make a long story short. I didn’t waste any time moving on to the harder drugs and liquor. By the time I reached 15, about the only thing I hadn’t tried was a needle in my arm. By the grace of God I never did.
By the age of 17 a dark depression seemed to dominate my life. Around the age of 19 I had a dream that Christ came back for His people and I didn’t go up with them. Shortly after that, I dreamed that Satan appeared to me and I was so horrified of him that I fell down at his feet and told him that I would do anything if would not harm me. He said nothing and just disappeared after hearing my vow of allegiance. At that point I gave up all hope of ever going to Heaven.
Shortly after that experience, I went to a rock concert. Music had become a god in my life. The top-billing band was one of my favorite groups. They were known to worship Satan. I had been to many concerts. Many times I would awake the morning after in my bed, and have no memory of driving home for being so stoned or drunk or usually both. That night was very different. I was not really even high. I will never forget the feeling that the building was on fire. I was so hot. I asked my friends if they were hot and they said no, they were very comfortable. I felt as though I would die from the intense heat that was literally to taking my breath.
Suddenly- I dropped to the floor and I didn’t even feel it. I realized that I was falling down what seemed like a hot, dark, bottomless pit. I was bound hands and feet with chains and there was a gag in my mouth. I could not even utter a terrified word for help. As I fell I saw the most hideous creatures that you could imagine dancing to the music, in a circle of fire. They were laughing and hysterically jeering at me saying, “ we have him now, and we have him now!” Just before I hit the bottom, I was literally slapped back into consciousness by a friend that thought I was dead. I looked at him and my other friends and there was a look of terror in their eyes. “ You scared us to death, we thought you were dead!” Honestly, I felt the same way myself. Within just minutes, I experienced the same identical event again. They drug me to a place to sit because I could’nt move my legs.
Only God knows how close that I was that night to checking out of this world! For reasons I can’t comprehend, God showed mercy to someone that was not ready to go into eternity. However, I did not repent at that time in my life. It only made me more sure that I was hell bound and had crossed the point of no return! My heart was so hard and cold toward the things of God. I felt so empty, so lonely, miserable, wicked, and even suicidal. NOTHING, could make the pain go for more than a few hours at a time. What I did in desperation only added to my sorrow. Drugs, alcohol, and the things that accompany, couldn’t take my pain away. Loving family, friends, popularity not even my beautiful fiancée (Tammy wife of twenty-six years now) that I loved so much could take the pain away. No one knew how much I hurt … I thought. On the outside, I guess I looked like I had it made. A gorgeous lady by my side, a new car, and a round house on the hill with a view.
My precious family did not know the depths of my sin. All they knew was that Tom was not in fellowship with God. Because they loved me they prayed for me and asked many others to pray that God would bring me back to Himself. I know that they fought long and hard for me. They simply would not give up on my life. I hated my way of life, but had no power to change. I had no idea that God was creating circumstances and situations to bring me back to Himself. I just never thought about Him caring for me. I had not given Him any reason to.
On February 22, 1980 in the early hours of the morning, I was doing my job as a material handler in a factory where I.V. fluid was manufactured. After the paychecks were dispensed, someone called in a bomb threat. (No, it wasn’t me!) We all knew there was no bomb, but it made for a great excuse to leave and go party the rest of the night. My carpool buddy and I rode up to the top of the mountain where my car was parked and began the marijuana ritual. After about an hour of this, he and I both, were extremely high. An incredible electric storm was taking place before our eyes and this made for great conversation. Suddenly, a massive bolt of lightning struck a tree a hundred or so feet away. I turned to him and said, “you know Junior, that should have been us!” He said, “What do you mean by that?” I said, “Well, if you think about it, God is watching us and we are insulting Him by the way we live!” He said, “ Oh, I know you’re right, but I really don’t think this is good time to talk about religion! Besides I used to be a Christian and I was called to preach and I blew that and besides, I don’t even believe that God loves me anymore or that I can be forgiven!” I looked at him and said authoritatively, “ That is most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard anyone say…. I know God loves you Junior!” I had no sooner spoken those words of truth when I heard the voice of the Lord thunder inside my chest, “ Tom, I love you also, please come home to your Father!” I was so taken off guard that I could not even speak for a long time. When I finally could get some words out, I said to my friend who had just been staring at me for the whole time, “Junior, I have to go home now. I don’t know how to tell you what has happened to me, but I can tell you this: I will never be the same as long as I live!” My friend, what Christ did that night has left me never the same. In that moment of time, in the twinkling of an eye, 7 years of addiction and torment were completely broken. I got into my car and said, “ Jesus, is that You? “ It seemed as though Heaven came into my car and as though Jesus Himself put His arm around me and said, “Welcome Home!” Through the sobbing and tears I said, “Lord, if You have some purpose for my life after all the sin that I have committed against you, then for the rest of my life I will serve that purpose.” I meant it then and I still feel that way to this day!
From that day until this, I have never had the urge to use drugs or alcohol or get high…. But I have been on a 26 year high ……...adventure ever since!
PRAISE HIS NAME FOREVER— AMEN!
Tom Anglin, pastor - Faith Assembly of God, Lake Station, Indiana
Ps 40:2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.
Ps. 139:8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
